Last night, in the dead of night, there was an epic battle between two supers: a Super-Hero, and a Super-Villain. The Super-Hero of course was Kit Fox, and “The Skunk” was the foul-smelling villain. Between these two enemies raged a battle of disastrous proportions that overloaded the scent glands of every person in a one-block radius. I tell you, It. Was. Stinky!
It all began last night at about one-thirty in the a.m., after everyone had fallen asleep. In the dead of night, a foul creature stalked the yards of innocent civilians, desecrating the very ground it walked on. This creature is one of the stinkiest villains that I have ever faced. “The Skunk” isn’t your ordinary villain. He doesn’t do what he does for money, for power, or for anything really–other than the pure, unaffected HATRED of all that is sweet-and-pleasant smelling. I first noticed the appearance of this dreaded creature from the window of my secret identities bedroom when a stench maliciously floated it’s way into my nostrils. How noxious! At first, I thought I was under attack as I awoke unable to breathe. After inhaling a large breath of the most disgusting gas I have ever inhaled, I realized that I was not the one who was being attacked–at least not directly. Instead, it was the entire neighbourhood in which I made my den, also known as “The Fox Hole”.
I swiftly leaped to my feet in response, donning my Super-Hero Costume and assuming the identity of my alter-ego, Kit Fox. After the five minutes or so that I spent searching for my boots, first in the closet, then under my bed, beneath my desk, inside my dresser, on top of my desk, in the drawers, and in the bathroom, I finally found them behind the toilet. I suspect one of my feline companions was behind this prank. Finally, I headed outside to face my foe.
There he was standing in the yard of one of my neighbours a few houses down, “The Skunk”. He didn’t notice me, which was a good thing, but not unexpected since I am a master of the stealth-based martial-art, Ninjutsu! He arrogantly continued spraying the furniture that sits in the front lawn of my neighbour Tony. Poor Tony has been through a lot lately, what with his wife leaving him, so waking up to this was quite a shock for him. He cried. I could here him sobbing like a baby in his bedroom.
As the Skunk was spraying Tony’s unsuspecting garden gnomes, I prepared myself to strike, readying the nearest object I could find as a weapon, a rake. While the Skunk was distracted with the destruction of the gnome family, I struck–a miss. He must have heard the rake at the last moment and performed an incredible dodge-roll. He turned to face me, bearing his sickeningly yellow fangs, “Kit Fox! How did you find me!?”
“Your stench. I could smell you a mile away, Skunk.” I wittily replied, “Say Bon-Jour, Smelly!” He tried to respond with something smart but I didn’t let him. CLANG! The rake struck the ground and the Skunk was gone. I looked around me. There! but it was too late, his iron claws were aimed right at my face as he leapt through the air at me.
to be continued…