Kit Fox

Kit Fox Plays D&D

Hello all, in this installment of Kit Fox Says, I’ll be sharing with you my latest and greatest undertaking. As the title suggests, in this scene, I’ll be sharing with you my recent experience playing D&D (Dungeons and Dragons 4e). In case you don’t know what that is, I’ll share with you a brief explanation:

D&D is a tabletop roleplaying game based on the fantastic novel series: The Lord of the Rings. In this game, you create a character and then assume the role of said character in a world invented by you and your friends. The goal of this game is to go on adventures and have a good time. At least, that is what it is supposed to be.

We began by meeting up at my friend Wyatt’s house. There were four of us. Myself, Wyatt, Angel, and Captain Whacko. We each pitched in and got ourselves a couple of pizzas, then picked our characters. I went first, and choose Beerus, the Dark Elf Warlock. Captain Whacko went second, choosing Copius Danks, the Elf Rogue. After Whacko, Angel picked Valen, the Half-Elf Paladin, and Wyatt went last, settling with some gender-ambiguous half-elf chick. Then we began.

So far, a good start. Wyatt was DMing (Dungeon Master-ing), and started us off in a prison. We were chained and beaten (cue the S&M jokes), and managed to sneak out when Copius picked the lock on his manacles and freed the rest of us. Fortunately, as we were escaping, the prison fell under seige by an orc raiding party, and we were able to fight our way out. After beheading several of the orcs, my character, Beerus gained a thirst for killing. Honestly, I had never seen this side of myself before–except for that one time in Seattle, but I’ll leave that for a later time.

After busting out of the Asylum, our group re-cooped ourselves in a nearby temple to the Sun-God. After skillfully avoiding the guards, we decided it a good idea for us to leave under the cover of night and seek safety in another land. First, we needed to get arms and armor, and paid a visit to a friend of ours who owned an armor-smithy. Unfortunately, when we asked him for armor, he informed us that his armor had been stolen and if we wanted it, we would have to get it ourselves.

So off we went in search of the thief, whom our smithy friend named “Falconi.” His mansion was said to be somewhere in the slums, and so we had to wade our way through sick, homeless people in order to get to our destination. We found it with relative ease, and approached the door stealthfully. We approached the door. There was a rustling inside. I reached for the doorknob and-

And that’s where it ends, I’ll let you guys know what we find on the other side.

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Kit Fox vs. The Skunk (Part 2)

Last we left off, I was engaged in a vicious battle with “The Skunk”. . .

The two of us squared off against each other, my back to the wall–actually, door. Tony’s door. His razor sharp claws had just missed their mark when I elegantly dove out of the way, beautifully planting my face (and body) against the door. Drool dripped from the mouth of my foe as he prepared another strike. I had dropped the rake during my expertly executed dive and now found myself unarmed against a deadly (smelling) enemy.

“Prepare to eat dirt, Fox!” his breath was as stinky as the rest of him, and I found myself feeling nauseous when he spoke.

“Silence, foul beast! Your terror ends here!” I took my battle-stance, known as Downward-facing Fox, and readied my strongest defense. He leapt at me, fangs gnarled and dripping with slobber. I rolled onto my back, swinging my legs at my target–his face. THUNK! Contact. My heels smashed into his soft, furry nose like a wrecking ball into a sack of pillows. He didn’t stand a chance. His chin snapped back and his body flung forward, colliding with the backside of my legs, then he fell to the ground, Thump.

“Ye-eah! Who’s yo’ daddy now Skunk!” I stood triumphantly over my fallen enemy. “You mess with the Fox, you get a steel-plated heel to the nose! Hurts, don’t it!” My jests were for naught though, since the Skunk was out cold. Oh well, the life of a superhero is an anonymous one. That’s why I have this blog–to tell all of you about my heroics and whatnot. Anyway, after saving the neighbourhood, I returned to my den and resumed my slumber, where my dreams were filled with skunks. . . which I skillfully annihilated one-by-one. It was a good night.

Kit Fox vs The Skunk!

Last night, in the dead of night, there was an epic battle between two supers: a Super-Hero, and a Super-Villain. The Super-Hero of course was Kit Fox, and “The Skunk” was the foul-smelling villain. Between these two enemies raged a battle of disastrous proportions that overloaded the scent glands of every person in a one-block radius. I tell you, It. Was. Stinky!

It all began last night at about one-thirty in the a.m., after everyone had fallen asleep. In the dead of night, a foul creature stalked the yards of innocent civilians, desecrating the very ground it walked on. This creature is one of the stinkiest villains that I have ever faced. “The Skunk” isn’t your ordinary villain. He doesn’t do what he does for money, for power, or for anything really–other than the pure, unaffected HATRED of all that is sweet-and-pleasant smelling. I first noticed the appearance of this dreaded creature from the window of my secret identities bedroom when a stench maliciously floated it’s way into my nostrils. How noxious! At first, I thought I was under attack as I awoke unable to breathe. After inhaling a large breath of the most disgusting gas I have ever inhaled, I realized that I was not the one who was being attacked–at least not directly. Instead, it was the entire neighbourhood in which I made my den, also known as “The Fox Hole”.

I swiftly leaped to my feet in response, donning my Super-Hero Costume and assuming the identity of my alter-ego, Kit Fox. After the five minutes or so that I spent searching for my boots, first in the closet, then under my bed, beneath my desk, inside my dresser, on top of my desk, in the drawers, and in the bathroom, I finally found them behind the toilet. I suspect one of my feline companions was behind this prank. Finally, I headed outside to face my foe.

There he was standing in the yard of one of my neighbours a few houses down, “The Skunk”. He didn’t notice me, which was a good thing, but not unexpected since I am a master of the stealth-based martial-art, Ninjutsu! He arrogantly continued spraying the furniture that sits in the front lawn of my neighbour Tony. Poor Tony has been through a lot lately, what with his wife leaving him, so waking up to this was quite a shock for him. He cried. I could here him sobbing like a baby in his bedroom.

As the Skunk was spraying Tony’s unsuspecting garden gnomes, I prepared myself to strike, readying the nearest object I could find as a weapon, a rake. While the Skunk was distracted with the destruction of the gnome family, I struck–a miss. He must have heard the rake at the last moment and performed an incredible dodge-roll. He turned to face me, bearing his sickeningly yellow fangs, “Kit Fox! How did you find me!?”

“Your stench. I could smell you a mile away, Skunk.” I wittily replied, “Say Bon-Jour, Smelly!” He tried to respond with something smart but I didn’t let him. CLANG! The rake struck the ground and the Skunk was gone. I looked around me. There! but it was too late, his iron claws were aimed right at my face as he leapt through the air at me.

to be continued…